I am shocked and appalled at the number of men who do not wash their hands after using the washroom. Maybe I AM a little bit paranoid about germs, but seriously people…no wash?

The most common non-wash I’ve seen is what I like to call the “Rinse and Run.” This is where you turn on the water, and rub your hands under it. I don’t know what people think this accomplishes, since the water can’t possibly be hot enough OR cold enough to kill the germs. If your hands stink like piss after you”WASH” them, it’s because THERE’S PISS ON THEM!

The second most popular method is the “Pump Fake.” Some guys go for the pump, but don’t actually do the squeeze. Others that do the squeeze, rinse before rubbing and just rinse the soap off their hands. Also, pointless.

Let me clear things up in case you don’t know how to wash your hands:

1) Turn on the warm water
2) Pump a couple paper towels out of the dispenser. Leave them dangling.
3) Get your hands wet and pump one or two servings of soap into your hand.
4) Rub your hands together for 30 seconds at least. Be sure to get between your fingers, and on the backs of your hands. If you have a hard time remembering what 30 seconds is like, think about those De Biers commercials they have on during the super bowl. LONGEST 30 SECONDS EVER, especially if your girlfriend is with you when they come on!
5) Rinse your hands (leave water running, sorry E.L.F.).
6) Pull off the small towels you pre-tore and use them to turn off the water and pump a few more towels out of the dispenser, dispose.
7) Dry your hands and use the towel to open the door to leave, with the door open toss the towel’s in the trash.

That wasn’t so hard. Help stop communicable diseases.

Woo hoo! NFC Championship game! Otis is going, but I’m staying home with Kari and we’re going to scream like crazy.

It’s okay though, we’ll be bumpin’ the Seahawks songs ALL DAY.

GET THEM HERE

Welcome everybody, the Christmas Party photos are now listed under the “Multimedia” section on the right.

I dind’t edit them or filter them, so if at some point you stole my camera and took a picture of yourself topless: sorry, it’s now on the internet.

Enjoy!

A couple weeks ago I ordered a brand spankin new robotic vacuum cleaner. This thing is awesome. I had my doubts, but it was on woot.com so I figured, “What the hey?” Let me try to explain how freakin cool this Roomba is. It charges itself, so it lives in it’s “cradle.” You use the REMOTE CONTROL to press the “C” (for “Clean”) button, it makes some beeps while it backs out of it’s cradle (as if it is going to run over some children or an elderly lady), turns around, and goes to the middle of the room. It spins in a few circles with it’s laser-eye to measure the room, then gets to work. It lasts about 2 hours on a single charge, and does an amazing job. When it’s done with the room or it’s battery gets low, it goes back to the radle automagically and recharges. Awesome.

It also happens to be a good vacuum cleaner as well. I have a vacuum, and I do clean my house from time to time, but this thing sucks up about 2 CUPS of lint each time I run it. Gross, but cool. I guess I’m a slob. When Roomba finds a dirty spot a blue LED on his top blinks and he spins around in circles until his particle detection system sees clean air. He works well on hard floors as well.

I am worried because the manual does not list what the safety phrase is, because I just know some day this guy’s going to learn where I keep all my stuff, take it and kill me to take over my life.

Until then, I will continue to turn it on at 7:30 when I leave for work and come home to a clean house.

“What is it that you like doing? If you don’t like it, get out of it, because you’ll be lousy at it. You don’t have to stay with a job for the rest of your life, because if you don’t like it you’ll never be successful in it.” -Lee Iacocca